Morning walks are good for your health, or so they say. But, trust me when I say this, because I speak from experience – no morning walk can replace the pleasure and the joy you experience when you go right back to sleep after hitting the stop button on the alarm clock.

I see a lot of heads are nodding in agreement already.

But, it is unfortunate that we are surrounded by people who go on and on about why one should go on a morning walk, every day. What is even more unfortunate is that we find ourselves at a loss of words to counter the arguments of these proponents of morning walks.

That, however, is going to change after you have read this article, because I am going to arm you with seven bullet proof excuses that you can use against anyone who wants you to go on a morning walk.

1. I am too busy. This is the one where you can agree with whatever your morning walker friend is saying, but in the end you just heave a deep sigh, take a deep breath, and tell him how much you wish you had the time for a morning walk. You then proceed to give him a detailed description (a little un-truth here would not hurt anyone) of the things you do on any given day. Try to ensure that most of the activities you list are healthy and seemingly productive.

This will not only silence your friend, but will also leave him feeling a little depressed because he will feel that he is not using his time optimally. Your job is done.

2. The pet-walkers, and the stray animals. If you live in an area that is even remotely similar to the area I live in, you can use the pet walkers and the stray dogs as an excuse to avoid the morning walk. Your argument will become even more forceful if you can describe (in detail, and, once again, make up the facts if you have to) a few incidents of morning walkers being mauled by pets, stray dogs, and monkeys.

If you have any scars on your body, you can use them as live examples of how morning walks can be detrimental to one’s health.

3. The virtues of sleep. This one will require a bit of home work on your part. Read some books, or articles, about the benefits and the science of sleep;  memorise some big words and as soon as someone starts to talk about the benefits of the morning walk, you nip the evil in the bed by giving an equally detailed and informative lecture on the benefits of sleep, especially early morning sleep.

This will make everyone feel that your decision to skip the morning walk is a result of an in-depth cost-benefit analysis.

4. Walking is for the old, I work out. You can get away with this one if you have a fairly decent body shape. You can simply laugh in derision at anyone who starts talking about the morning walk. You can then go on to say that morning walks are for the week, the old, or the sick.

You work out, and you don’t need to walk. Argument won.

5. I play sports. This excuse is similar in nature to the one about working out, but here you are using sports as an excuse to avoid morning walks, instead of working out.

Of course, this excuse, like the earlier one, would sound credible only if  you have decent enough body shape.

6. Wild animals in the area. Be it Mumbai, or Shimla, there have been incidents of stray leopards venturing into civilized areas everywhere. Unless you are unfortunate enough to live in an area where such a theory would sound utterly unconvincing, you can use this as an excuse for not going on a morning walk.

Not only will you win the argument on the benefits of morning walk, you will also get an opportunity to turn the conversation towards more interesting things. After all, who does not like a good leopard story.

7. Unsafe neighbourhood. Everyone I know loves to talk about how the world is going to the dogs. You can take advantage of this fact. As soon as someone starts to talk about the benefits of a morning walk, you simply shake your head, and utter sounds that make the speaker stop in his tracks. Now, when you have everyone’s attention, narrate an incident (once again, make up the facts, if you have to) where a morning walker in your neighbourhood was beaten up and mugged by some anti-social elements, who managed to get away with it too.

I don’t think anyone will ask you to go an a walk after hearing your sordid tale.

My dear friends, I hope after reading this piece, you will be able to ward off any attempts made by people trying to force you to go for a morning walk. But, if you feel that you should go on one, I would recommend that you follow your heart, because, all said and done, morning walks are actually good for your health.

(Image courtesy: mihow from sxc.hu)