Have you ever noticed a fly caught in a spider’s web. The harder it tries to free itself from the sticky mesh, the deeper it gets entangled in the web. Most of us face similar situations at some point or the other of our lives. If you haven’t then either you are too young, or you have surrendered to the situation without even realizing you have. One time that most of us  go through such an experience is when we have completed our studies, and are a couple of years into our job, and we have just had our first promotion.

One fine evening your parents ask you to sit down with them in the living room. If you have any grown up siblings, they are also asked to join in, and then you are asked the biggest question of your life, “Have you thought about your future?”

You mistake this for another one of those questions about your career that parents often ask. Your most likely, innocent reply is, “I am thinking of spending another six months in this organization and then look for a change.”

But then, it hits you – Why are they all surrounding you as if you are an escaped convict?

Somewhere in your mind an imaginary buzzer goes off, “Buzzzzz! Wrong answer!”

Your mom then takes charge of things, “No, we mean, what have you thought about getting married?”

It is now that the fly realizes that it had not been able to see the thin strands of the web and flew straight into it, and now it is stuck. At the far corner of the web, the fly sees the spider sharpening its claws and eyeing its catch with delight.

“You are already 25 (or 26 or 27 or whatever), look at all your cousins and friends, they are all getting married, you are the only one left, what are you doing with your life?” your mom will ask, “How should I respond when people ask me when is my son getting married?”

A few, thin strands of silk come out of the spinnerets of the spider, and pin the fly down.

“But Mom, I still have to settle down… you know my pay is not good enough to support a family… besides it’s so hard to find a decent house on rent these days.”

The fly struggles to break the strands, but they are stronger than a steel wire of the same dimensions. The spider starts moving towards the fly.

“Look at Kumar, how has he been managing, he has been married for two years now and I guess he has the same pay package as you do,” this time it’s your dad.

Then you remember – it was a sudden death for Kumar. His grandmother had called him one day and told him that he must pay her a visit as soon as possible because she was not well. Kumar being an obedient grandson took a flight and went home that very evening, only to hear from his dad that his engagement has been fixed for the next day. Kumar couldn’t do anything as all his relatives had been invited. This fly had landed directly onto the leaf of an insectivorous plant. You thank God for not giving you such old relatives who can apply the sudden death move without any warning.

“Do you like someone?” asks your mother.

“No mom, there’s no one in my life,” you say instantly. Your mom starts eyeing you suspiciously, and a clip from the movie ‘Dostana’ starts playing in her head.

You start to think about surrendering, about whether you are ready to take up such a big responsibility. The more you think the more you get stuck, like you do in a pit of quick sand. All you are thinking, as you are being bombarded with questions and arguments one after the other, is how to get out of this situation.

In the end some of us, like Kumar surrender to the situation without much resistance, some of us revolt and some come up with a Houdini like escape act.

“But dad, I was planning to take up this executive MBA program at ISB Hyderabad next year, it’s a one year program and after that I have good chance of being propelled into the senior management level,” you respond.

A thick drop of rain falls from the sky on the fly and shatters the spider’s mesh.

“You can study after getting married as well,” your mom counters your argument.

The spider moves quickly. The fly’s wings are still caught up in the strands. It struggles, and tries to flap its wings.

“Okay, if you are thinking so seriously about your career then we will give you another couple of years, but not more than that, complete your studies, and by then you will be in a good position in your career, then you will have to marry,” your dad comes to your rescue.

As the spider threatens menacingly to cast its web around the fly again, the fly with a violent flutter of wings breaks off the remaining strands and flies far away from the spider’s reach. It is safe, for some time at least.