Somebody has said that we choose our friends, while relatives come in pre-made packages. How right that somebody was!

It is true that we try to select for ourselves that which we think is best for us, but, often and again, we make errors in our judgements. As Shakespeare has said, it’s better to have an enemy who tells you – on your face – your weaknesses, rather than a friend who hides them from you. With this idea in mind, I have always sought to find a friend who would be a friend in need, and thus become a friend in deed.

In my search for the ideal friend, I have made friends of all kinds. One of them was a childhood friend. We were kindergarten mates – grew up together, finished our school and college together. The entire neighbourhood new about the strong bond we shared. If my parents got a dress for me, one would be bought for her too. When my favourite dish was cooked by her mother, a parcel would await me at my home. Our sweet and innocent friendship seemed to have no limits. And because we spent so much time together, our interests, likes and dislikes had become similar too. We were, in other words, like Juno’s swans – inseparable.

Time went by, and after college she left to pursue her MBA, while I chose to stay back.

One Diwali – a home coming time – she returned, but as a new person. She shared with me her true feelings about our long, and seemingly never ending friendship. Her statements and remarks came as a total shock.

She told me how much she hated me, always had. She had hated me since the very first moment I had joined her school. Our friendship, she told me, was thrust upon her by her parents. She had just got used to me with time.

I asked myself, “Was 23 years of friendship nothing but a big joke?”

All the moments shared together had suddenly become bitter.

It’s easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. The memories had lost their sweetness and innocence. I am still trying to erase those memories. But is that even possible? Which part can I erase? To forget her would mean forgetting 23 years of my life.

Today, I am married and staying abroad with my husband. When I started to learn driving, I met my instructor, who was from Pakistan. I was a bit sceptical about her – her religion, her nationality, and her attitude towards an Indian. With the passing of time and my classes, however, our friendship blossomed. I also realized how little I knew about a country that was situated right next to mine.

In my Pakistani instructor, I found a friend in an alien country. We shared a common language, a common dress and a common cuisine. With so much in common, it came as a surprise to me that the two nations bore so much animosity towards each other. Today, I can proudly say I have friend who knows and cares for me, and her being from Pakistan does not matter at all.

On every friendship day, we come together to celebrate friends and friendship, but true friendship does not need a date. We need to thank the powers that be – every day – for shining the light of friendship in our lives. And the best we can do for our friends is to be their friend.

Image courtesy: lizerixt from sxc.hu