Laugh it up

Jul 15th, 2007 | By | Category: Laugh it up
There is nothing like a good joke to interrupt the monotony of daily life. Here we have collected a few jokes that are sure to make you smile, if not make you roll on the floor laughing.

 

 "It was really embarrassing," said one friend to another." The invitation to the party said 'Black Jackets Only.'  When I got there, others were wearing suits too."

 A small grocer had his store stacked with boxes and more boxes of sugar.

"Do you really sell that much sugar," a surprised customer asked him.

"Not really, I sell just about as much as the next grocer. Actually I am not a very good sugar seller. But the guy who sells me sugar, now he is a good sugar seller!"   

Some students in India were arguing about who among them was the most patriotic. "I never buy any imported goods," said one of them. 

"I never watch any foreign films," said another.

"Well," said a third,"I haven't passed English ever since I started school." 

A robber stops a well dressed man in a dark street late one night. The robber puts a gun to the man's head and demands, "Give me your money."

 Angry, the well dressed man replied, "You can't do this, I work for the government!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me back my money!"  

An old man goes to an army recruitment camp and says , "I want to  join."

 "How old are you?" asked  the officer-in-charge.

"Sixty two," replied  the old man.

"You know pretty well that sixty two is too late to be a soldier."

"A soldier maybe," replied the old man, "But don't you need any Generals." 

A lover says to his girlfriend, " You are incredibly beautiful." 

"I am afraid I can't say the same about you," replies the girlfriend.

" You could, if you knew how to lie as well as I do." 

 A man runs away from the operation theatre minutes before his operation. "Why did you run away from the operation?" a friend asked him. 

"Because before the operation the theatre said,' What are you scared about? It's only a routine appendix operation.'"

"So what?" the friend replied.

"She said it to the surgeon, not me." 

 An American farmer is on a vacation in Australia. He meets an Australian farmer there, who  shows off his wheat fields.
"We have got wheat fields twice as big back home," says the Australian. They keep walking and the Aussie shows off his  herd off cattle.
"Oh, we have cows that are twice as big back home," the American says. A little later two Kangaroos pass them by hopping across the fields. "What are those?" the  American asks.
"What?? You don't have grasshoppers in America?" says the Aussie. 

 A primary school teacher asked her students to write an essay on "Comparing the joys of youth and old age" as an assignment. The teacher was anxious to read what her favorite student had written on the topic and looked up her essay. She had started her essay in style with : "Great are the pleasures of youth but nothing compared to the pleasures of adultery."

 A customer exasperated with the high prices on the menu calls the waiter and asks ," Whats the matter with the prices?? Are supplies hard to get in your town?"

"Not the supplies," he replies, "but customers are." 


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