Laugh it up

Aug 15th, 2007 | By | Category: Laugh it up

"Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?" the teacher asked her seventh class students.
Everyone but Rahul raised a hand to answer.
"You don't know?" the teacher asked.
"I don't know and I don't care!" the boy shot back, arms crossed."Stop asking me stupid questions."
Upset, the teacher asked Rahul to stay back after school, and called his dad for a meeting. "What's the matter? what did he do?" Rahul's dad asked when he arrived.
"I asked Rahul, who killed Gandhi and he rudely replied that he neither knew nor cared and asked me to stop asking him stupid questions." she said.
Angry, the father grabbed his son and shouted,"What is your problem, son? If you killed the man, just say so."


"How do you become a doctor?" a young boy asked the doctor on a routine visit to the clinic.
"Well," replied the Doctor,"you have to work very hard, read a lot of books, pass a lot of exams. Why do you ask?"
Replied the boy,"Dad says he doesn't know how on earth  you became a doctor."

 


A man is lying battered and bruised in the hospital room. "What happened?" a friend asked.
" I told my wife it would take a team of wild horses to drag me away, when cricket was on TV. I still have no idea where she got them." he replied.


A husband is ordering a cake for his wife's birthday.
"And how many candles would you like?" asks the salesman.
"The usual, thirty-three," replies the man.


One day at the office, a man noticed that his very conservative co-worker was wearing an earring.
"I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff," he says to his friend.
"It's not a big deal," the guy says,"it's just an earring."
"How long have you been wearing it?"
"Since my wife found it in my car last week."


A wife was tired of her husband referring to her as "Mother of six" in public. She finally devised a way to cure her husband;s habit. At the end of a party, he called out loud enough for everyone to hear, "Ready to go, Mother of six?"
"Any time you are," she replied, "Father of four."


A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you have got to help me. Every night I have this horrible dream. I am lying in bed and five women rush in and tear off my clothes."
"I see," says the doctor, "What do you want me to do?"
"Break my arms," pleaded the patient.


An art lover spends some time talking to an artist, and then decided to buy one of his pictures.
"An excellent choice, I devoted ten years to that picture," comments the artist.
"You spent ten years painting that picture?"
"No,it took one day to paint it but I spent the rest of that time  trying to sell it."


A Czech goes to the ophthalmologist who shows him a card with the letters "CZWXNQSTACZ".
"Can you read this?" he asks.
"Read?" the Czech replies, "I even know the guy!"


Sharma had nine kids and was having a tough time raising them.
During one trip he was telling another guy about his family.
"I wish I had nine children," the man said.
"You don't know what you are wishing for," Sharma said.
"Oh, I Do," the man replied, " I have thirteen."
Send us your jokes at editor@themag.in



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